Level 7 Un-Networking for the Business Owner

Networking is Not a Verb

The word network is a noun.  You possess a network just like you possess a car.  You drive a car, you don’t go carring.  Your network is the result of relationship building.  You own a car and then you drive it.  You build relationships and then you enjoy a network.  There is only one way to grow your network, expand the list of people who know, like, and trust you.

If networking isn’t a verb, what are you doing when you attend a traditional “networking” meeting?  There are many appropriate verbs to describe what happens at a traditional networking meeting:

• Socializing
• Flipping (business cards)
• Introducing (ourselves to strangers)
• Drinking (a cocktail)
• Chatting
• Standing (alone in the corner)
• Selling
• Pretending (to care what the other person says)
• Feeling (anxiety)

As you can see, many of these verbs are not positive, nor are they effective ways to grow your network.  So what’s a business owner to do?  The answer is simple.  Ban networking as a verb.  If you find yourself attending a meeting to “network,” don’t go.  The meeting will be a waste of time.  Instead, attend meetings with like-minded business people and focus on relationship building.  This is how you will grow your relationships and in turn, your network.

We created Level 7 Un-Networking to address the lack of business relationship-building opportunities.  To learn more about our process, visit www.unnetworking.com

11.  Face-to-Face

There is no such thing as a Facebook friend or a quality virtual connection.  Most things are still bought from people, not computers, images, or video.  A high-quality un-networking group meets face-to-face, not virtually.  LinkedIn is a great way to share contact lists, but a grand total of ZERO relationships have been formed on LinkedIn.  People post their existing contacts and relationships on LinkedIn, they do not create them.

If you want to gauge the quality of your virtual “relationships,” email your Facebook friends and tell them you are moving and you could use some help.  See how many show up.

10.  Use a Positive Scorecard

There is an old saying, “What gets measured gets done.”  It’s true.  If something gets measured, things will improve.  To maximize the value of all participants’ time, a scorecard must be created.  Additionally, the scorekeeping must be positive, not negative.  This means rewarding results and behaviors desired, not punishing failures.

Many networking groups have rules stating attendees must bring a certain number of leads to each meeting.  Theoretically, the concept is good; make sure everyone tries to help each other.  However, in reality, this becomes a spanking.  Punishment ensues if leads are not brought.  Many business people have received a call from a friend in this type of group.  The call sounds something like:

“Hey, I’m sorry.  I had to give your name out at my networking meeting because I didn’t have any real leads.  Pretend to be a bit interested when Sally calls you because I don’t want to get in trouble for giving them bogus leads.”

This is an incredible waste of everyone’s time.  Relationships cannot be manufactured.  A good system recognizes this and rewards behaviors that lead to connections as well as sales.

For example, a good system would reward an introduction to a quality vendor or meeting with someone useful to the business.  The system would keep track of what connections lead to positive business results.  These results could be quality advice, customers, prospects, vendors, or simply good people to know.

9.  Proven Process

All great processes are proven and repeatable.  Traditional networking feels more like a grade school fire drill than a process.  However, when un-networking is done properly, a systematic process is followed, and a proven and predictable result occurs.   For instance, business owners can sit around a table and “bang around” an issue.  This unstructured process will yield some interesting discussion.  However, a structured discussion process lead by a facilitator will result in a much better discussion.  Ideally, this process should be provided by the un-networking organization rather than un-networkers inventing their own process.

8.  Consistency

Strong relationships cannot be built without seeing the same people on a regular basis.  For instance, if John and I attend the same networking meeting every month for five years but only converse occasionally, a strong relationship cannot be formed.  Strong relationships are only formed with reasonable and consistent meeting frequency PLUS consistency of the attendees.

7.  Reasonable meeting frequency

Improper meeting frequency can kill an un-networking group.  Some networking groups meet every week.  Most successful business people would rather TASER themselves repeatedly than network weekly.  They simply do not have the time to meet every week, nor is it necessary.  A proper balance between meeting often enough to feel connected, but not so often that it turns into a job, is the un-networking way.  Have meetings too frequently, and people won’t show up.  Have them too infrequently, and everyone loses track of each other.  The best frequency for powerful un-networking is once every four to six weeks.

6.  Delayed gratification

The best un-networkers understand and trust the process of relationship building.  A successful relationship-building process is based on delayed gratification and a bit of happenstance.  There is a direct relationship between the value of a relationship and the time it takes to develop it.  Million-dollar relationships are not built in ten minutes.  They take time.

5.  Structured process

Business people don’t need to be social butterflies to get results from relationship building.  Most business people hate attending networking events and wander around trying to find a conversation to force themselves into.  For the nonsocial butterfly type, traditional networking functions can be torture.  Most business people go to a couple of these meetings and never go back.  The mental toil simply isn’t worth any benefits gained.  A structured process corrects this problem.   A high-quality un-networking event follows a process and a repeatable format that eliminates the need for small talk and social discomfort.  Done right, even the shyest businessperson will be able to build connections at this type of an event.

4.  Follow Dunbar’s Rule

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar determined that the human brain only has the capacity to process 150 relationships.  This phenomenon is known as Dunbar’s Number.  This could also be called “The Law of Small Structured Groups.”   The brain simply cannot process too many human connections.  A networking group over fifty is too large and loses its effectiveness.

Think of the meaningful relationships in your life.  Where did you meet these people?  Was it in a large group or a small, structured one?  Perhaps you met them in your college class or sorority?  Perhaps you met them at church?  You can be around someone for ten years and never develop a relationship if it lacks structure and intimacy.  The most effective un-networking groups comply with Dunbar’s Rule:  Keep it small and keep it structured.

3.  Like-minded people

A member of the Sierra Club and a member of the National Rifle Association might both have a “similarity of interest” such as politics.  However, they would probably have polar views on more than a few issues.  In order to create meaningful connections, the group must consist of like-minded people.  Trust is most likely to be built with someone that thinks similarly.  This is not to say it is impossible to create trust with people who have opposing viewpoints, it is just less likely.  Business is notorious for creating strange bedfellows.  However, the right people have to be in the room in order to create a powerful un-networking dynamic.  Ideally, membership should be exclusive and by invitation only.